As women—we think about sex, pleasure, and sensuality as something involving a partner.
Yes— that is a wonderful part of a relationship, but that’s just one piece of the puzzle in becoming a satisfied woman; a sensual woman; and a woman who is not ashamed to find alternate ways to satisfy the hunger for pleasure.
As women, we may have shameful reasons impeding us towards reaching the goal of self love. A bad past experience with a partner. Anxiety of prior abuse. Taboos due to customs or creed. Whatever the reason—we must regain our innocence and compassion towards ourselves. Get rid of shame as it obstructs the fulfillment we so deserve.
Did you know that our “pleasure vessel” (aka vagina) has eight thousand nerve endings dedicated for delight, satisfaction and pleasure alone?
You, as the Divine Feminine, need to satiate your innate hunger to nourish your soul and your body. If you have a partner to help you connect to your deepest desires and needs – that’s wonderful. However, the act of satisfying the hunger of delight in a sensual, sexual way, including total fulfillment, can be achieved in another major way.
How, you ask?
By being intimate with one’s own body. Loving it. Respecting it. And realizing that our bodies and, in particular, our vaginas are in harmony with our hearts and definitely part of a woman’s soul.
Yes, we hunger to be desired. To be “turned on.”
However, we can feed and nourish that hunger in many ways besides a sexual act. Sex doesn’t have a monopoly on the term “turned-on” – nor the emotion of being “excited.” We can be “excited” and “turned-on” when involving ourselves in many other scenarios. Even the simplest thing. As long as it gives pleasure in some form. You can be excited to speak to your friends—your children—your parents. You can be excited to go see a movie. You can find pleasure in going for a walk. Or in reading a book. Pleasure can be redefined to be feeding yourself with many things you hunger for --- things you find harmony with and delight in. It’s your bliss. Whatever gives you that feeling of self esteem and gratification.
So how do you truly find your bliss—your excitement—your pleasure?
By loving yourself—body and soul. We must reclaim our Divine right to sensual pleasure after we’ve been so conditioned to fear and shame! But how do we overthrow centuries of false beliefs? How do we take ownership of our birthright of pleasure for ourselves, independent of any other person?
Want to know how?
I, personally, think “self pleasuring” sounds delightful. Don’t you? We weren’t allowed to talk about it — but Girl when we discovered it – that one fine day when our “Yoni” tingled with joy and jubilation – we felt great! But it was short-lived.
Well, if something isn’t spoken of as normal or mentioned at all—and when you do hear about it, it’s considered taboo, what happens? We perceive it to be bad. So we neglect it and, worse yet, we feel bad about ourselves. After all – face it – it feels good. And we navigate through our lives neglecting our true desires.
Now what happens?
We deny ourselves the enjoyment of the full senses of our body, which in turn fuels the body with hatred and shame. We bury our pleasuring.
So what can we do?
Go to a mirror. Now look at yourself in your most vulnerable form – Naked.
Be gentle with yourself. Take baby steps if you need to. Start with gazing at your eyes and the parts of you that bring you joy. Slowly scan your whole body and forgive yourself for all the parts you have disowned through hurtful actions, thoughts, emotions and other acts that no longer serve your highest good. Look for acceptance, self-love and compassion. If not you…who will? Because how can we let someone love us—give us pleasure—or even depend on them to do it—if we don’t love ourselves first?
Yes, you’ll find the critical voice telling you that you have flaws. That’s the first thing we’ll hear when we start viewing ourselves. As most of us have been conditioned to thinking perfect is looking like models in a magazine.
Our bodies are sacred temples. So take time for yourself and try what I’ve suggested. Self-compassion teaches us to treat ourselves with tender love and a deeper understanding of our true hungers. To be truly “turned on” is to live the life you love in a body that you love.
Doing so will enable you to unearth the answers to these questions—
How do we reclaim our Divine right to sensual pleasure when we have been
so conditioned to fear and shame?
How do we overthrow centuries of false beliefs?
How do we take ownership of our birthright of pleasure for ourselves,
independent of any other person?
With much love,