I was only eleven when I got my period, and I can still hear my mother saying to my father (who was absent for most of my childhood), “Tata (their name for me) got her period” and my father saying, “That sucks, you are no longer a sweet little girl.” The feeling that I disappointed my father has stayed with me till this day. That experience, and scores of others, shaped my early journey into the realm of sexuality and sensuality and my feminine self.
As a nutritionist and a coach of women’s heath, I have worked with many women and have had my own self-discovery to know that sexuality and sensuality are not topics we often discuss among ourselves.
When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart with another woman about sex?
About sexual desires?
What it is to feel sensual?
Growing up, we didn’t think about the realities and history concerning sex and sexuality that would stay with us and how they would shape our self-respect and self-worth, let alone the perception of others who might judge us. I know I didn’t. So much shame is embodied in these topics, and there’s no opportunity for us to be prepared for our own journey of discovery.
That leaves us to uncover our sexuality and sensuality for ourselves by allowing life to happen, to take us on an emotional journey through a landscape of trials and tribulations. Yet so much of who we are as Divine beings lies in how we see our bodies in relation to our sexuality.
I can speak only about my own discovery. My journey was based on my need to feel loved and to express love, which was sorely lacking in my home life. My mother’s heart was shattered by my father, leaving her unable to rebuild trust with men again. I took on that mistrust of men as well.
Early on, some of my discovery involved Disney stories, Hollywood, and love songs. Later, my path allowed me to learn much about myself through different experiences and friends of the opposite sex. I learned that our sexual health is woven into our physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and mental well-being. To deny this connection is to deprive ourselves of our birth right to live fully and completely as sacred feminine beings.
During my journey, I realized that sexuality is so much more than the ability or desire to engage in sexual relations or to get pregnant and give birth. The sexual energy you embody is a magnificent force that promotes and supports your health, fuels your creativity, and allows you to be all you can be.
All sisters should know that the most critical relationship you can have regarding your sexuality is the one you establish with yourself.
When I allowed myself to reach and make discoveries about myself and I gained the knowledge and experience that enabled me to break down taboos and conditioning that carried such shame. I finally understood that it was “okay” to feel physical sensations. I deserved pleasure, and I was—and am--a Divine being.
The practice of pleasure drove me and shed positive experiences in other areas of my life, not just in my own body image. This awakening enabled me to gain a greater appreciation for my family, creative work, friends, and ultimately, life itself.
This is my wish for all of my sisters. My journey of sexual awakening continues; it is a lifelong event. Rather than fear it, I welcome it with open arms. I hope you can too.
Feminine sexuality and pleasure allows us to experience higher levels of joy, connectedness, ease, and sensuality.
Think about yourself as a beautiful, sexual being—which you are. Connect with your sacred feminine sexual energy.
How does it feel? How can you deepen that connection and feel safe, loved, and honored? What practices can you do that will make you feel sensual?
Leave a comment below and let me know what practices make you feel sensual? Who did you learn them from?
I would love to hear from you dear sister.
With much love,