Dear sisters, many of us know people who are addicted to something, whether it’s gambling, shopping, food, alcohol, drugs, etc.
These addictions are about seeking out and using things outside of ourselves—more wine, more chocolate, more pairs of shoes, you fill in the blank—to push down or bury fears and memories of trauma.
For a brief moment, we falsely believe or want to believe that eating another box of cookies or buying a few more dresses and shoes will take away our pain or make us forget.
But nothing will ever be enough.
The same is true of another type of addiction, one that emerges from inside of ourselves.
This is an emotional addiction.
Unconsciously, we can get high from incessant worrying, anxiety, shame, and fear. Subconsciously, we want to experience these painful emotions…but why?
Is it because suffering is all we know, because we believe it is all we deserve, because others have convinced us that it is our fate?
For many years, I was addicted to emotional eating, to the point that I became deathly ill. At that time, I chose to look at my life through dark lenses, seeing only the negative aspect in people, places, and situations. This vision justified my belief that I was a victim. My mother and I had to flee Colombia for Canada, leaving behind family, friends, school, and our belongings for a life in a foreign place, full of uncertainties.
Back then, I found comfort in the drama of knowing deep inside that if I saw the darkness in my surroundings, I would have validation for my feelings.
That meant I could keep on feeding myself the venom that would then nourish more drama in my life. I believed I had reasons to keep the drama going.
What if all of those reasons are wrong?
Experiencing highly negative emotions change the levels of certain chemicals in our body, such as cortisol and adrenaline, which are stress hormones. If we allow ourselves to be overcome by these unhealthy feelings over time, their chemistry becomes addictive. We get caught up in self-destructive way of being, limiting our abilities to pursue our dreams, realize our full potential, and grow with the force of life. The negative emotions become our new normal.
We can break this cycle of negative emotions and energy. They are not the nourishment we need to sustain our body temple or embrace our Divine Feminine selves.
To help us eliminate this path of negativity, we can adopt these suggestions:
Become aware. Awareness of your behaviors, feelings, and emotions is a critical first step toward change. Sit quietly and contemplate your situation. If you are truly happy and content living with a cycle of negative energy, then so be it! If not, being aware that is not where you want to be is a huge step in the right direction.
Part of this awareness process involves looking at emotional eating. If this step does not apply to you, feel free to read ahead! However, so many of us face eating challenges, it’s important to mention it here. Ask yourself:
• Why are you eating?Are you still living in a past that no longer exists? Are you blaming and judging yourself for past traumas? Is your emotional eating causing you to miss out on embracing your Divine Feminine life force and to be emotionally disconnected?
• What are you eating:Are you feeding yourself negative stories about yourself and your past? Are you telling yourself you’re not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, successful enough?
• When are you eating?Do you eat instead of being social with family and friends? Are you worried about what others will think of you? Do you eat when others have achieved something you wish you had done and wonder why you have not had the same chance?
Acceptance. Consciously accept that you have an emotional addiction and that you need to take responsibility for it by interrupting it and replacing it with something that will serve you rather than harm you. Vocalize your acceptance by saying it out loud in the mirror. Write it down. Share it with a friend if you are comfortable with that.
Make a decision. Once you have acknowledged and accepted your current state of being, make a firm decision to move ahead and embrace positive, life-affirming habits and dispel the negative ones.
Journal. Keep a journal of your thoughts, emotions, and actions. Be objective and nonjudgmental; this is not an exercise in criticism but a way to observe yourself so you can better grow and change.
Make affirmations. On a daily basis, make declarations of being. (You may also want to incorporate the gratitude meditation I talk about here.) Stand in front of a mirror and speak your affirmations out loud so they resonate in your head, heart, and spirit. Speak of the things you are good at and keep reinforcing the parts of you that you are connected to physically and emotionally.
Be vigilant. Whenever you find yourself thinking a negative thought or experiencing a negative emotion, stop yourself and replace it with something positively. This habit takes a while to adopt fully, but it can change your life for the positive.
After a while—and it may take days, weeks, or months--you will find yourself able to smoothly break the cycle of negativity and especially experience the harmony and pleasure of escaping the negative energy with which you once surrounded yourself.
Are you ready to get off the path of negativity and embrace the sacred, divine you that is yearning to greet the world with positive energy?
Please share with us how you have adopted these suggestions and offer some of your own so that we all may find our way to harmony.
Holding you in the highest vision of love and health,