That was the feeling I lived with for several decades and felt the spiraling down into a space I didn’t know I could escape. I had a false perception of myself, and because of that I lost my vitality and looked for ways to numb my feelings. That’s when my distorted, unhealthy relationship with food became my biggest monster.
My unbalanced relationship with food caused me to disconnect from my spirit until I wanted to die. I had lost so much weight from not eating and punishing myself. One day I realized I needed to buy some pants, so I walked into a store to pick out my favorite color: black, which matched my mood and emotions. As I paid for the pants, the cashier handed me a small pamphlet. When I unfolded the pants, I pulled out the pamphlet, and the words on the cover said “THE GREATEST GIFT IS…”
Immediately I grabbed a pen and wrote the words Love/Health/Happiness. At the time, I did not know that my entire body was craving these three feelings. However, if I had not been prompted by this piece of paper, it never would have occurred to me.
As I opened the pamphlet, I became more and more excited. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so engaged with anything like this. I had lost contact with my friends and isolated myself. I had been living in a very dark and lonely place. Now, however, a simple piece of paper had opened up a door. The pamphlet said: “Write down your short and long-term goals: 2 personal, 2 career, and 2 health goals for the next 2, 5, and 10 years.”